Charlemagne in a Shed: The Carolingians at Warfare 2023

In a near-miraculously quick turnaround I've now conjured up all 5 battle reports from last weekend's Warfare 15mm L'Art de la Guerre competition, featuring the on-table debut of a post-lockdown-painted Carolingian army under the command of the one and only Charlemagne himself.

The reports all feature a wildly aggressive approach to gameplay, hurling lancer-armed almost-Knightly Caballeri against pretty much anything that stands in their path and sitting back to watch the results unfold in the usual full-contact cinemascope fashion.

The reports as usual come complete with army lists, commentary from Hannibal, random speech bubbles which bear little if any relationships to the action going on at the time, dreadful cod-French, and some tenuously connected music videos too (including one from Christoper Lee - yes, that one!).

You can also see some close-ups of the Baueda and Forged in Battle figures themselves, and find links to all of the army lists of my 5 gracious opponents too.

Read on to see how Charlemagne's campaign of conquest ended up !   

 

Hungary for Warfare ?

 Yes, that deeply punnish headline does indeed herald the release of another fistful of competition battle reports, this time from the massive Warfare ADLG event at the end of last year. 

The five reports feature a newly-minted, lockdown-painted 15mm Essex Hungarian Army in action for the first time in a real competition, taking on a range of opponents from across the entire Eurasian landmass (and associated small offshore islands) in Feudal-themed battle.

There are also Goulash recipe videos, a spot of ATOMICS! when the Hungarians hit the desert of Tuaregistan, more flags than you can wave, erm, a flag at and a whole host of inappropriately captioned pictures of 15mm figures in action on the tabletop. 

 

So, stop fiddling with your Rubik's Cube, put down your Biro and shake the paprika out of your hair (eh ?) and settle back gently into 5 packed pages of Hungarian Warfare in these first Madaxeman.com battle reports to hit the internet airwaves in 2022.

Oh, and along with the usual ascerbic analysis from Hannibal, there's even a bit of Star Trek meme-ery too. Because that is of course the obvious thing to do when looking at the Hungarian army of the late Feudal period. 

Go on... beam yourself up to the Hungarian's debut competition!

 

No More Turkey - it's time for Chinese!

Appearing shortly after the festive break, the perfect antidote to too much turkey, stuffing and the inevitable but somehow unwanted cheese course are these FIVE battle reports from Warfare 2016, featuring a Spring and Autumn Chinese army in brutal combat against a range of Biblical-era foes...

Watch in amazement as an order of L'Art de la Guerre appears on the table in Reading for the very first time, and a long-unused biblical era chariot force is taken out of the deep freeze to rumble across the battlefield and poke it's chopsticks at the enemy from close range.

The Chinese take on the Babylonians, Assyrians, Omanis, Carthaginians and the always difficult to spell Aechemenid Persians in 5 brutal tabletop conflicts, all of which have been certified MSG-free, (but which may contain nuts).

The reports are then wrapped up in lettuce leaves and dipped in some classical analysis from Hannibal to counteract the Communist speechifying and propaganda of the Chinese General... so dig in, as you know you'll want some more in half an hour anyway.

The Great British Bacon-Off

We're back to FoGR and some more Renaissance action as the Early Danish Army sizzles its way in several extremely bold, and a number of even rasher (see what I did there?) battles at Warfare 2015.

The army attempts to contest the leaderboard and emulate last years victory with a series of unfashionable Reiter units and some well-stuffed pikemen. Is the bacon worth the slicing - time for you to decide in these 4 battle reports

The Danes at Warfare 2014 - top table action!

The last event of 2014, and the Early Danes get yet another outing at FoGR down by the banks of the Thames in sunny (cold and dark) Reading.

In four thrilling match reports they take on everyone in the world, from the Indians to the English, all whilst doing their very best to shoehorn references to bacon and Carlsberg into the narrative at every opportunity....and end up doing surprisingly well !

Lots of pictures, some barely-relevant YouTube videos and some very odd things to buy from Amazon as well all grace the reports - so, grab yourself some pancakes and maple syrup, pull up a chair and dig in!

The Winner Takes It All....? Warfare Match Reports

A musical treat as the long anticipated Abba/The Hives mashup comes to fruition as the Swedes attempt to reach heights of competence rarely seen, in 4 reports from Warfare 2013, taking on more Swedes, some Royalists and two lots of Spaniards..

Are the mighty Swedes going to prove to be Super Troopers? Or will it be a case of Hate to Say I Told You So yet again..?

(Note for regular readers, this report also features the apparently warmly welcomed return of Princess Madeleine of Sweden as leader of the Swedish forces in the post match commentary).

10 FoGR Army Lists now posted

Army lists from the competitions at Oxford and Reading now added to the FoGR Wiki:
Lists include:

• Buccaneer
• Tatar
• League of Augsberg Anglo Dutch
• Later Louis XIV French (Alasdair Harley Special)
• Later Polish & Lithuanian
• Early Swedish (x2)
• Later ECW Royalist
• Later Imperial Spanish (x2)

Reports from Warfare 2012

The Early Danes field more Cuirassiers than you can safely shake a stick at, and take to the field after a hearty fry-up (appropriately enough) in Warfare 2012 - a themed FoG:R competition - and take on Transylvanians, Swedes, Jin Chinese and some Austrians

The reports features two full-fat deep fried reports, one half-fat and a final lite version using only bacon flavourings instead of real bacon. 

You will also have the opportunity to order a range of tasty bacon-flavoured snacks from eBay to consume whilst reading.

Warfare 2011 Match Reports

See the theoretically unbeatable TYW Swedes disprove a theory in grand style in 4 reports featuring opponents such as Later Swedes, Imperial Spanish, TYW Swedish Civil War and Dutch.

Warfare this weekend !

I'll be playing FoG at Warfare this weekend - so only a few days to try and bash through the Roll Call match reports before another lot stack up in the to-do pile! Looks like a great trade show this year.