Cold Wars 2020 (yes, 2020...) Match reports from the ADLG Singles Competition

In the dim and distant past, face to face games were played, and people crossd mighty oceans in metal tubes held aloft by the power of magic to crowd together in enclosed spaces and drink beer and eat chinese food. 

In that long-forgotten time an ADLG event took place in Amish Country - a land without Zoom in a time before ubiquitous face mask wearing. 

To this event went a brave and tiny Sassanid Persian army (with Alannic Allies), and, unearthed from the  swamps of time, archeologists have now found three brand new ADLG v3 Match Reports in a long-lost corner of Madaxeman.com

They are now most humbly presented here for your delight and amusement, along with an added bonus - The epic tale of the Sweaty Crocodile:

Go on, click the link. You know Dale wants you to... 

It's A Battle Report !

OK, it's a video of a battle played online on Tabletop Simulator... but in this world of global gaming Lockdown I'm afraid this may be as good as it gets for a while longer!

So, for those of you missing the clatter of dice on cloth-covered chipboard here is a game of L'Art de la Guerre played on Tabletop Simulator between two very different Justinian Byzantine armies, both previously featured in the Madaxeman Justinian Byzantine List Building Podcast.

Thankfully (as anyone who's actually watched any tabletop wargame before will know) the gameplay has been speeded up significantly such that the whole battle plays out in only about 20 minutes of onscreen time. 

As well as all the action (hah!) the video also features a running commentary provided by me and Dave (the players) in which we attempt to explain what is happening, and to provide our respective hastily constructed post-hoc justifications for what we thought we were trying to achieve at the time.

Finally, to round things off there's a short discussion of the lists being used and a mercifully brief post-match chat as well where we deconstruct all of the "tactics" and gameplay.

You can watch the original podcast in which these two lists were put forward on the Madaxeman YouTube channel where you can also watch this video on YouTube as well as embedded here on the Madaxeman website / Blogger site.  

You can also replay the game yourself, as the two armies have been set up on a virtual tabletop as a Steam Workshop Item for Tabletop Simulator.

"Pre-Covid Sassanid" Persian Match Reports from Cold Wars 2020

Arriving from the distant depths of pre-lockdown history with less warning than a new Taylor Swift album release, these 3 Madaxeman.com "Doubles" match reports finally emerge into the light of day blinking as furiously as an Amish buggy's indicators with a flat battery.

The mighty forces of Persia ride across the North American plain and engage in wanton warfare in the bowels of the Cold Wars 2020 auditorium at the very dawn of the age of Covid against the Classical Indians, the 100YW French and Alexander the Great.

There are beers, maps, pizza slices and almnost certainly a foot-long hotdog in these American-tastic 3 widescreen 20 Floz match reports with a side of fries and a portion of salsa.

Let's make Wargaming face-to-face Great again with these 3 Madaxeman.com "Doubles" match reports

Oooh-err Missus! It's a B.I.G. Abona !

Way back in the mists of time in a far flung corner of this sceptred isle a band of well-muscled 25mm army-carrying wargamers gathered together to celebrate the Roman era of British history (and, more pertinently, how it was portrayed in Carry On films - of course).

The end result was the BIG Abona Festival, a 2-day, 4-game 25mm ADLG event with a theme of all armies valid at any date during the Roman presence in Britain.

To this esteemed gathering I elected to take the Vikings, who just about squeaked in with a dateline before the end of the Sub Roman British list. Just.

Many months later the four reports of the Viking's exploits are finally published for your delight and delectation, as the Norseen take on the Mongols, Ancient British and two very different sets of Roman soldiery in full widescreen technicolour.

Read on for the usual mix of poor puns, comedy captions and expert analysis - this time with added rubbish rhymes!
 

Galatians ! Faaarsands of 'em Sir!

With a shwoosh of clackers, and a dusting-ioff of the family jewels the Galatians take to the table in five separate match reports against the Romans, Germans, Seleukids, Bactrians and the (who the f--- are the?) Blemmye, in the post-tournament report from Bournemouth earlier this spring.

There is of course the usual mix of captions, videos, both handy and unhelpful rules-related hints and poor quality humour throughout.

This time however you also get a specially themed report of one of the battles which features extensive references to the 1970's Bay City Rollers knock-offs from Bradford, "Smokie" - not for the faint-hearted, so if you are easily offended please feel free to skip report number four!

Go on - get your undercarriage out into the fresh air this lovely spring morning, lie back and enjoy these five fine reports !

Yummy-yads in Spain - Food, Castles and ADLG!

The Umayyad Caliphate in a few short years managed to build a mighty empire stretching from Asia to the shores of the Atlantic ... but now they faced their greatest mission, The Conquest of Spain (reached via Bilbao airport, travelling in a small metal tin).

Yes, after somewhat of a hiatus here are 5 match reports of yet another fairly randomly selected ADLG army fighting at a competition held in Northern Spain at Estella.

In these reports the Umayyads take on the Armenians, Alexandrian Macedonians, Maurikian Byzantines, Arab Indians and finally the Medieval Polish, whilst Team Central London take on a variety of three course meal options, tapas plates, obscure Basque spirits and rather nice Rioja, all of which get featured heavily in the writeups.

Finally, in a totally new departure, Siege Warfare comes to Madaxeman.com as the intrepid CLWC crack castle-wall-storming brigade meanders through the hinterland of Castile visiting an array of Moslem, Visigothic and Reconquista fortresses, all of which are photographed and presented for your delight and delectation.

Be extra careful if you are squeamish about roast pork products, otherwise just be careful of the poor quality jokes and captions and the sub-standard gameplay (as usual).

Dogs of War 2018 Game 2

And, in quick succession, here's the video of the second game in which the small but imperfectly formed Byzantines attempt a double envelopment against the Southern Dynasties Chinese

Dogs of War 2018 - Video walk-through of round 1

Here's an experimental "new format" battle report from the recent Dogs of War ADLG event held in Bristol, with a video walk-through of top-down photos of the game.

It's not going to replace the usual pile of old guff and poor quality puns by any means, but always good to have a bit of variety every now and then!

The next 4 reports will follow ...

Persians on Campaign

The annual Milton Keynes fest of wargaming saw the Persians of Cyrus take to the field in 5 ADLG battles - see how they fared on the swings and roundabouts of life in this series of geometrically accurate reports from Campaign 2018 

See how the Persians fared in a Civil War, against the Lydians, the Medes and the Babylonians (twice!) together with the usual mix of videos, comments and rules hints  

Greece is the Word, and the Word is ADLG !

The recent international upsurge in the popularity of ADLG around the world has now lapped up against the sun-kissed shores of Greece, finding fertile soil in a local wargaming population who it turns out were both deeply steeped in the ancient DBx tradition, and also very happy about adopting an internationally-played ruleset that only requires you to paint and collect relatively small numbers of figures to put a new army on the table.

As soon as the first ever Greek ADLG competition was announced, attending therefore became something of a no-brainer and Greece was added to the list of ticked-off international competition venues that already included France, Belgium, England, Wales and Spain - especially after the epic time that was had by Team Central London at the last Patras event (in the days of DBM would you believe it?!) way back in 2003.

The following reports of the epic trek across Europe to get to the venue, and the even more epic competition itself contain dangerous amounts of pictures of food, some terrible Greek puns, amazing 15mm figure painting (mostly by my opponents) and a surprising number of positive results for a Ghaznavid army small enough to fit in the kind of biscuit tin you'd be somewhat disappointed to get as Christmas gift.

Hold the Halloumi, On With The Reports!!

The Madaxeman Christmas Bonus - a one-off, festive ADLG Match Report

In a rare festive treat, your post-lunch turkey-digesting can now be undertaken in the company of a one-off Madaxeman.com L'Art de la Guerre Battle Report, featuring a matchup between the Sassanid Persians and Attila's Huns!

Santa's sack is positively bulging as it seeks to contain the excitement in this report , which is as comprehensively stuffed with goodies as a classic Christmas pudding is stuffed with health-and-safety-challenging sixpences.

There are maps, comments from both of the generals involved as well as Hannibal's usual pithy analysis, a host of animations and videos and all of the usual captions and comments too.

So, grab yourself an egg-nogg, pull up a comfy sweater and dive into the Sassanid vs Hunnic Christmas Match Report! 

The Ancient British Panzer Division - in ADLG

That well-known Barkeresque wargaming trope, the Ancient British Panzer Division, gets a surprise but strangely welcome outing in these three L'Art de la Guerre competition reports all taken from the recent Central London Invitational 1-day event.

This is your chance to thrill to the rumble of 32 separate wheels as the 15mm British Catuvellauni tribesmen race across the tabletop towards the Carthaginians and the Seleukids, before rounding off by taking part in a Very British Civil War against a more pedestrian flavour of Ancient British.

The reports are now laid out in a new wider-screen format with bigger pictures, but the same hapless captions and post match-mishmash of commentary and analysis from Cassivellaunus himself as well as Hannibal. The three opposing army lists are also referenced and included.

Trust me - these reports are wheely, wheely good !

Alexanders Companions Go Tilting at Windmills

After an unfeasibly long delay, the 6-game "Worlds 2017" set of L'Art de le Guerre match reports are now released into the wild in all their multi-faceted glory!

Set in the sun-drenched uplands of Salamanca in Western Spain, the biggest event in the world draws out Hannibal's only true rival, Alexander The Greats own army to take on opponents from across the swathe of time, from their own back garden in the form of the Classical Indians all the way to the Middle Ages and the Ordonnance French.

Thrill as Alexander himself narrates in these 6 match reports, stuffed full of videos, inappropriate accents, suggestive double-entendres and all manner of painted lead as it refuses to melt in the Spanish heat, and Gasp as Hannibal skillfully and not at all politely deconstructs it all after each game.

And, in a special ADLG bonus, Even The Man, The Legend, The Hero - El Kreator Herve Caille gets a look-in as Alexander's Phalanx clashes with the authors own concoction of an army in Game 4!

It's a widescreen epic - read all about it here!

What an Atmosphere! The Rus get in some ADLG action

Hot on the heels of The BHGS Challenge comes Dogs of War, in the excellent Bristol Independent Gaming Centre.

This was a Dark Ages & Early Medieval themed L'Art de la Guerre event, and in keeping with my efforts to try and get as many of my long-forgotten armies on table as possible under ADLG I had elected to wheel out the Rus - with a Viking ally.

The "Wall of Spears" was a new thing for me to try in L'Art de la Guerre competition gaming, so the big question was whether that was because everyone else had missed the tactical potential of such an army, or because it was a bit pants and I hadn't worked that out yet.

See how the men from the Ukraine did in these 5 rather linear battle reports!

Massive Heeds, Sausages and Tie Fighters - ADLG from the NEC.

With this year's BHGS Challenge taking place in the galaxy-sized open spaces of Birmingham's NEC expo centre, the first army to be dropped to the planetary surface was also a brand new to the table outfit - the much-trailed Sassanid Persians.

Resplendent in their new livery, the "Sausages", as they have been affectionately known to generations of wargamers were certainly Feeling the Force as they deployed an army built around a massive Death Star, surrounded by horsemen with Massive Heeds (or those 'lightbulb' hats to be more precise).

To find out what happened, the best bet is to see if your local protocol droid will help you translate each of these 5 match reports into something sensible.

You can also listen to a podcast at the end of Battle Report # 4 to help you learn how to build a good Sassanid list in ADLG - which is much easier than having to ask a couple of favours from some guys who look just like Tuskan Raiders...

May the Sausages Be With You..!

The Renaissance of The Renaissance - 3 FoGR Reports using the draft rules revisions

A subtle revision of FoGR Renaissance is in the offing, and to help test the rules the Kings Capital in Oxford is besieged by eager gamers all keen to raise the standard for King or for Parliament!

What will happen in an event where in previous year's I've taken Parliamentarians and Scots?

Why, it's One for All and all for The King!, as we shop at the Waitrose of Life, not the Lidl of Despair for 3 FoGR reports!

Jock McTastic! It's the Medieval Scots at the CLWC Spring 1-Dayer!

The third Central London curry-tastic one-day ADLG event took place a few weeks ago on a rare major-sporting-event-free Sunday.

The theme was Late Medieval, and having been thoroughly schooled on the art of Medieval stuff at The Worlds last year, but also being rather short on practice time to get my head round an Indian-type army with game-changing elephants I was dithering as to what to take.

But then, inspired by a crushing defeat to an Italian teenager in Belgium, and realising that the half-painted army that I had bought up in Derby the previous year was actually within reach of completion, the idea of taking Medieval Scots floated up to the top of the pile.

Taking the army of Flodden to a competition where many of the opponents would be stuffed with English Longbows was perhaps not the most obvious approach, but it had the advantage of being simple to play in an event where I'd be doing the scoring as well.

See the results, and hear the critique from Wee Jimmy Hannibal McHannibal in these 3 L'Art de la Guerre Match Reports

Double the Roman Trouble in Wales..?

Another year, another Doubles L'Art de la Guerre outing as ADLG became the biggest game in town at the traditional UK Wargaming season curtain-raiser, the Godendingdangdag Doubles in in Sunny Wales.

This year saw the event move out of Usk and into the rather spiffing purpose-built venue at Firestorm Games in Cardiff.

This did mean that most of the games appears to be played on the surface of a battle-blasted alien planet (note to self, bring cloth next time) but other than that it was regarded as a great improvement by everyone who joined in.

But, did the new venue prove a happy hunting ground for our Roman and Judean combination?

Read these 4 map-heavy match reports and see how the Early Imperial Roman & Judean did against the Chinese Northern Dynasties & Chi'ang, the Ostrogoths and Gepids, the Greco-Indians and Kushans and finally Don Alexander the Great and the Classical Indians.

If you ever wanted to know just what the Romans Ever Did For Us, the answer is surely hidden in these 4 reports!

No More Turkey - it's time for Chinese!

Appearing shortly after the festive break, the perfect antidote to too much turkey, stuffing and the inevitable but somehow unwanted cheese course are these FIVE battle reports from Warfare 2016, featuring a Spring and Autumn Chinese army in brutal combat against a range of Biblical-era foes...

Watch in amazement as an order of L'Art de la Guerre appears on the table in Reading for the very first time, and a long-unused biblical era chariot force is taken out of the deep freeze to rumble across the battlefield and poke it's chopsticks at the enemy from close range.

The Chinese take on the Babylonians, Assyrians, Omanis, Carthaginians and the always difficult to spell Aechemenid Persians in 5 brutal tabletop conflicts, all of which have been certified MSG-free, (but which may contain nuts).

The reports are then wrapped up in lettuce leaves and dipped in some classical analysis from Hannibal to counteract the Communist speechifying and propaganda of the Chinese General... so dig in, as you know you'll want some more in half an hour anyway.

Aaah-oooh - it's the Dacians of London Again..!

Fresh from drinking a pina colada at Trader Vics, those barbarian scallywags from the land of Dracula, the Dacians, touch down in Central London for 3 games of Roman-period themed L'Art de la Guerre goodness.

Marvel at how this usually somewhat underpowered army performs against Mithradates, Rome and the Germanic Tribes in three punchy and to the point match reports, complete with the usual smattering of captions and other tosh.

Be warned though, it's not going to be subtle... !